Vous etes au Japon depuis trop lontemps, lorsque...

désolée, c'est en anglais, mais ceux qui sont deja allés dans ce "royaume de l'étrange" reconnaitront certainement quelques unes de ces anecdotes....

You know you've been in Japan too long when...

• you don't hesitate to put a $10 note into a vending machine.
• you appear for your first skiing lesson with brand new Rossignol high performance racing skis and an aerodynamic racing suit with color matched goggles. And then snowplow down.
• you think the best part of TV are the commercials.
• you develop a liking for green tea flavored ice cream. (l'ice cream, je ne sais pas, en revanche j'ai fini par m'habituer, et même par apprécier le thé vert froid amer qu'ils vous servent partout)
• you can't have your picture taken without your fingers forming the peace sign.
• your idea of a larger home is an extra 10 square meters.
• you glance at the clock and accurately predict the next line of dialog in the TV dorama.
• you find yourself bowing while you talk on the phone. (moi je me suis surprise, à l'aéroport d'Helsinki, à m'incliner en répondant "yes" à l'employé des douanes...et au bout de seulement 3 semaines au Japon...)
• you go to a coffee shop in your home country and order "American coffee." (quant à moi, j'avais réussi à repérer qu'en japonais, espresso commençait par un signe resemblant à un I majuscule. Fort utile, quand ce n'est pas écrit en anglais croyez moi. Du coup j'ai appris quelques mots pour commander ma boisson favorite :"espresso kudasai, itotsu (la, tendre son index pour montrer que vous n'en voulez qu'un). Domo aligato"
• you think that you can impress foreigners by drinking Budweiser.
• you find a beautiful way to eat natto. (heu, c'est absoluement dégueu le natto, zavez rarement vu un truc aussi immode...pas réussi à l'avaler, surtout au petit déjeuner...si vous ignorez de quoi il s'agit : des graines germées, à l'apect de sperme avarié, à l'odeur de cadavre pourissant dans de l'eau stagnante, hummm, un vrai régal !)
• you start thinking can coffee tastes good.
• you really enjoy corn soup with your Big Mac.
• you buy a potato-and-strawberry sandwich for lunch without cringing.
• you phone an English-speaking gaijin friend and somehow can't bring yourself to get to the point for the first 3 minutes of the conversation.
• you think every foreign movie title contains the word 'love.' (pas si faux ceci dit!)
• you have mastered the art of simultaneous bowing and hand-shaking.
• you think 4 layers of wrapping is reasonable for a simple piece of merchandise.
• you don't find anything strange about a city that puts a life sized, red-and-white painted Eiffel tower imitation in its centre, as well as a scale model of the Versaille palace for its Crown Prince.
• you get on a train with a number of gaijin on it and you feel uneasy because the harmony is broken.
• you ask fellow foreigners the all-important question "How long have you been here?" in order to be able to properly categorize them.
• in the middle of nowhere, totally surrounded by rice fields and abundant nature, you aren't surprised to find a drink vending machine (authentique !!! il y en a absoluement partout, et dans des endroits complètement invraisemblables!)
  
  a non-Japanese sits down next to you on the train and you get up and move. You're not prejudiced, but who knows what they might do?
• you only have 73 transparent, plastic umbrellas in your entrance because you have donated 27 to the JR and various taxi companies in the past few months.
• you think one kind of rice tastes better than another kind.
• you pull out your ruler to underline words. (hu hu hu, amusant! ceci dit, je connais certains français qui le font sans avoir eu besoin d'aller jusqu'au Japon....)
• in getting ready for a trip you automatically calculate for omiyage and you leave just the right amount of space in your suitcase for them.
• on a cold autumn night, the only thing you want for dinner is nabe and nihonshu.
• you return the bow from the cash machine.
• you can't find the "open" and "close" buttons in the elevator because they're in English.
• you think that coffee goes perfectly well with squid pizza.
• you believe that the perfect side dish to eat with a juicy, deep-fried pork chop is a pile of raw, tasteless, shredded cabbage.
• it doesn't surprise you that a case of beer has the same per unit price as a single can.
• you think cod roe spaghetti with chilled red wine is a typical Italian dish.
• walking into a crowded bar full of non-Japanese makes you nervous, because they "look dangerous." (je l'aime bien celle-la!!)
• you find yourself apologizing at least three times per conversation.
• when you let your car idle for half an hour while you go shopping.
• you find your self asking all your foreign acquaintances what their blood types are.
• you find yourself practicing golf swings with your umbrella on the train platform.
• you buy an individually wrapped potato in the supermarket.
• you think that "Lets SPORTS yOUNG gAY CluB" is a perfectly normal T-shirt logo for a middle aged lady.
• you think sushi at a baseball game is perfectly normal
• you stupidly wait for a kampai at a gaijin party
• you think no car is complete without a tissue box on the rear shelf and a feather duster in the trunk.
• you are disappointed when Dominoes doesn't have corn pizza, and the driver is disapointed when you forget the tip.

·         you are not surprised to wake up in the morning and find that the woman who stayed over last night has completely cleaned your apartment, even though you'll probably never ever meet her again.    (ma préférée !!!!)

·         you think wet umbrellas need condoms. (Vu : chez Mango à Montparnasse !!! comme quoi c'est pas que japonais ...)

·         you have discovered the sexual attraction of high school navy uniforms. pas mal!

A part ça et dans un tout autre sujet : enfin, nous l'avons obtenue, la première médaille d'or française ! Bravo à Steve Guenot (Steve...ça mnque de classe ce prénom amerloque non?)